


Brother From Another Egg

by cinnamont



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mistaken Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7487769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamont/pseuds/cinnamont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Klaine Gift Exchainge. Prompt: In addition to Cooper, Blaine has a younger brother. Or at least, that's what Kurt thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brother From Another Egg

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flowerfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/gifts).



> For the Klaine Gift Exchange, we write stories prompted by klaine fic writers. So this is for the wonderfully talented flowerfan. I hope you enjoy it. And thanks to black-john-lennon for the beta assist. And thanks also to Space Orphan and Alianne for organizing this, you're both gifts to the fandom!

Blaine Anderson is a terrible liar.

First of all he does the guilty pause, that guilt-stricken silence while he desperately thinks of a plausible lie to tell and then he fidgets, looks away, maybe even rubs his neck. Then he does this weird, quiet little embarrassed laugh, puts on a bright smile and tries to talk about anything else but that.

It started out innocently enough: a phone call on the morning of the Saturday when they agreed to hang out at the mall. They had been officially dating for two and a half weeks now and Kurt was still riding the high of having a boyfriend... a boyfriend he could text constantly, a boyfriend he could hold hands with, and flirt and be coy with, a boyfriend he went on dates with, and kiss madly whenever they found a private place. Kissing was Kurt Hummel's new favorite thing to do!

"Kurt, I'm so sorry," Blaine began, "I can't make it today."

And Kurt's heart plummeted. He had so been looking forward to a day of clothes shopping - even if it was only in a mall in Lima, Ohio - because he was going to be with his dreamy boyfriend and he could now outfit plan for two. He knew he was being a little bit unreasonable when he pouted, "Why not?"

"Um..." And there it was - the guilty pause. "I... I have to do... something for my Mom." A soft, little laugh sounded on the other end of the phone. "I'll make it up to you, Kurt. How about I take you out for froyo tomorrow?"

Kurt's disappointment softened and he smiled even though Blaine couldn't see it over the phone. "I guess I have been monopolizing you a lot lately," Kurt conceded unapologetically. "I'd love to go."

He could practically hear Blaine's grin. "You're the best," Blaine beamed and Kurt couldn't help preening a little. Compliments from his boyfriend was like basking in the warmth of a center stage key light.

"And you're perfect," Kurt flirted back. Oh God, they really were the sappiest but he didn't care in the slightest.

True to his word, Blaine took him out on Sunday and Kurt forgot all about it.... until it happened again.

It was the first time Kurt was in Blaine's bedroom with no one else at home. They were studying... with the door open. And Blaine kept excusing himself, to get them drinks, to make sure he reset the alarm system after letting them in.

The third time, Kurt thought he heard something faint. "Is something beeping?"

"Uh.... no!" Blaine looked vaguely panicked. "I don't hear anything."

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked as Blaine was already on his feet and heading for the door.

"Ah... bathroom, gotta go," he gave an embarrassed chuckle and rushed out.

Kurt could have sworn he heard Blaine mutter under his breath, "...go to sleep already..."

But it wasn't until that day Kurt came over to Blaine's because they had plans to go to Between the Sheets to look for potential duet songs that he truly became suspicious that Blaine was hiding something - something about his family.

Kurt stood awkwardly in the front foyer, filled with second-hand embarrassment, the kind you get when you unexpectedly find yourself an eyewitness to your friend - boyfriend - having a fight with their parent... or at least the closest equivalent the oh-so-dapper Andersons came to it.

He cast about for something fascinating enough to look at while he tried to pretend he couldn't hear the raised voices from upstairs.

"....but I promised Kurt we'd go to the music store today...." Blaine's voice was saying.

"I know, honey bee, but I just got a call from Naked Clowns For MS and they are having an emergency meeting. I can't miss it. You know I'm the Chapter's vice-chairwoman."

Kurt had to concede that he was so distracted by Naked Clowns For Multiple Sclerosis that he pretty much missed what came after that. What kind of emergencies do naked clowns have?

"But it's your turn--" Blaine's voice was louder now and Pam Anderson emerged at the top of the stairs resplendent in a colorful patterned wrap-around dress and dangerously high high heels. He had to give it to the Andersons, they always dressed to impress. The flirty skirt swirled about her dancer's legs as she whirled back to her son.

"Blaine!" she scolded impatiently. "I am asking you to look after your b--"

"MOM!" Blaine cut her off, though he was looking past her at Kurt. He blushed at his rudeness.

"Why don't you just take him w--"

"Alright, I'll do it," Blaine hastily agreed.

"Thank you," Pam accepted. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, her movie-star smile brightened. "Kurt, sweetie! Aren't you a peach."

Kurt started to smile back - wait, did she just call him a fruit?

"That scarf," Pam noted critically, her fingers brushed lightly over the striped length wound artfully around his neck. He picked it out especially for Blaine. Before Kurt could decide if he had been complimented or fashion critiqued, Mrs. Anderson swept out the front door with a breezy "Have fun, boys!"

Blaine glumly stepped down off the last step. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I can't go with you today."

He looked so dejected that Kurt was moved to go to him and take his hand. "It's okay," Kurt assured him. "What was tha--"

Before he could finish that thought much less the question, Blaine was turning him towards the door. "You' should go anyway. I don't want to ruin your day."

"Blaine, you're not. Hey, I could stay with you."

There was a flash of - panic? - in Blaine's eyes. But it was covered over so fast that Kurt wasn't sure he hadn't mistaken it. "No! No... that's okay. It will only be boring for you." Before Kurt could protest, Blaine continued, "You should go to the store. You can pick something out for us."

Kurt was about to argue but Blaine's lips were on his and instantly all other thoughts scattered away. "I know you will find us the perfect duet. I trust you," Blaine murmured when they parted. Later Kurt realized that Blaine had cleverly played to the fact that no boy in New Directions would have trusted him so completely with a song selection and it worked! Kurt had practically turned into Rachel, mentally running through songs that would best showcase his - their - voices. Then there were costume choices, hair and makeup, staging and choreography... Kurt was momentarily lost in it all before he was aware that Blaine was talking again. "Then you'll do it?" Blaine asked hopefully. Curse those puppy eyes! So big and melting...

Kurt grinned back at him. "I'm on it!" he assured Blaine. He was a man on a mission! Oh God, he was turning into Rachel, so he did something she would never do. "I'll text you from the store," Kurt said. "We'll decide together."

Blaine smiled as bright as the sun and Kurt was rewarded with an enthusiastic kiss. He left Blaine's house with his head swimming with that kiss and all the possibilities of a new performance.

The last straw, though, came after Warbler's practice. Blaine had fidgeted next to him on the couch. His phone kept buzzing. The first couple of times, Blaine surreptitiously pulled it from his blazer pocket to check the notifications before slipping it back without answering it. It buzzed a few more times during practice but Blaine ignored it. But Kurt couldn't help noticing the tense line of Blaine's shoulders.

"Is everything okay?" Kurt whispered.

"Hmm? Everything's fine," Blaine lied. Kurt frowned but he couldn't really question Blaine about it now.

The phone buzzed again as their meeting was wrapping up and Blaine checked it then-- and did Blaine just eye-roll?! That was new, and Kurt would know because cataloging all of Blaine's expressions had become Kurt's ~~obsession~~ hobby since he first met him. Kurt had learned to his delight that Blaine had a sassy side, although his was more adorable than Sasha Fierce like his - naturally. Kurt considered giving Blaine a few pointers but ultimately decided he liked Blaine's adorable sass, and he concluded that couples should maintain their own sense of style.

Blaine excused himself to go over and talk to Thad for a minute and Kurt busied himself with little nothings while the other Warblers filed out. He was deliberately lingering back in the hope they could get in a little make-out time once the music room was empty.

That's when the phone buzzed. Kurt looked down. Blaine had inadvertently left it on the couch cushion next to him. He picked it up, meaning to call Blaine's attention to... three missed calls and several texts from his mother! What was happening and why was Blaine ignoring it? He'd never known Blaine to ever be disrespectful to his mother - well, to anyone, really - but certainly not his Mom.

He couldn't help it, Kurt's eyes fell to the latest text... 'Is Lonnie still sick? You haven't left him alone?'

 _Lonnie?!_ "Who is Lonnie?" Kurt demanded when Blaine returned. And, yeah, his boyfriend had zero poker face, guilt was written all over him!

"What...?" Blaine tried to pretend to be clueless but Kurt was having none of it.

"Blaine Devon Anderson!" Kurt cut him off. Suddenly he was flashing back on all the odd behavior over the last several weeks and it was starting to fall into place. He knew for a fact that the Andersons did not have a pet - Pam was allergic. "Do you have a brother?! Another brother? Why do you never talk about them? I swear I wouldn't even know about Cooper if Wes and David hadn't mentioned him!"

What was it with this family? Why did you never know they ever existed until they showed up out of the blue? Did they keep them tied up in some secret basement hidden under their house? What kind of Norman Bates family was he dating?!

"Kurt, I--"

"And how could you leave him alone at home? And sick?!" Kurt railed at him. How could Pam, for that matter? Seriously, who were these people who might possibly be his future in-laws one day?

"Kurt, this is Loni!" Blaine reached into his pants pocket and dangling from a keychain was a candied-colored plastic device, rounded, almost egg-shaped.

Kurt froze, his mouth open in mid-rant. His head tilted. Wait, what?

He held out his hand for it and Blaine let him take it. The pink and yellow toy rested in the palm of his hand, actually made to fit a child-size palm. The center was fitted with a simple black and white LCD screen. "A tamagotchi?" Kurt breathed. "Your brother is a tamagotchi?"

Blaine closed his eyes in intense discomfort. He looked around the room, grateful to see that no one else was there. "Please, don't tell anyone, it's so embarrassing!"

But Kurt was off on his own tangent. "I wanted one of these so badly," he was saying staring down at the digital pet. "But my dad wouldn't get me one. He said he wouldn't pay good money for the electronic equivalent of a pet rock." Whatever that was?! And apparently he was still a little bitter about it. "I can't believe it's still going."

"I know, it just won't die," Blaine grumbled. "The battery lasts forever." His tone suggested that he took it as a personal grievance that it was so well made. "It keeps going and going and going..."

Kurt was taken aback by Blaine's animosity for the toy that had been all the rage in the 90's. "Can't you just let it die if you don't want to take care of it anymore?"

"No, Mom would freak! It's not mine," he explained as he dropped down onto the couch next to Kurt. "It was Cooper's. When he stopped playing with it, Mom started taking care of it. I don't know, maybe she thought he'd come back to it, but instead it became this whole thing - an insane, embarrassing thing! She's the one who calls it my brother and insists I babysit when she can't look after it. God, she even celebrates its birthday. That's why I had to cancel shopping with you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to know I come from a family of freaks."

Chuckling, Kurt patted Blaine's knee sympathetically. "Oh, honey, you don't know freak show until you've been to McKinley. One day, I'll introduce you to Brittany and her cat... and I'm pretty sure Puck considers that dead squirrel he calls a Mohawk is a living thing. You'll feel incredibly normal by comparison."

Blaine gave Kurt a grateful look, like he couldn't believe his boyfriend was so understanding. "You really don't think it's weird?"

"That your brother is an egg?" Kurt teased.

"Ugh!" Blaine brought up a hand to cover his face. "It's not even a boy. Cooper was twelve, he named it after Loni Anderson, an actress from the eighties that Cooper had a crush on."

As Blaine went on about how his egg-brother was actually a girl, Kurt pulled out his own phone and did a quick Google search. His eyebrows shot up as he found what he was looking for - Loni Anderson. And wow. "That's... quite a head of hair," Kurt noted. "Do I need to be concerned about the Anderson men obviously having a thing for blond manes?"

"What? Kurt, no--!" Blaine stuttered. "Dad married a brunette," he pointed out.

"Brunette _now_ ," Kurt countered. No one could sneak a bottle job past Kurt Hummel, past or present.

"Well, I am a reformed man," Blaine vowed. "Only brunettes will do for me." Kurt could not help the wide grin as Blaine nuzzled up to him, seeking out the skin of his neck.

Kurt jumped and pulled away. "Blaine Anderson!" he feigned shock. "You are not trying to make out with me in front of your little brother! And when he is sick too."

"Kurt!" Blaine whined and reached for the toy but Kurt held it away from him, grasping it more firmly.

"You know I _really_ wanted one of these."

"No! No, not you too!"

"And no one would let me play with theirs." Kurt settled back against the couch and began to happily tap at the buttons while he cooed at the screen. Utterly ignored, his boyfriend could only gaped in disbelief.

Blaine Anderson really, _really_ hated tamagotchis.

* * *

A/N: Here's Loni Anderson...  


**Author's Note:**

> Naked Clowns for MS is a real charity. Wanted something crazy and bonus embarrassment for Blaine when his mom performs almost naked for events.
> 
> While writing this I now have a new head canon that Kurt can never decide if Pam is complimenting or slyly insulting him. :)


End file.
